Grow some girl-balls and come out already
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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