Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
