The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
