Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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