Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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