I hate all girls vehemently.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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