That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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