Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
