I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
