That's intense
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
