We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
