It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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