if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
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