You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
