there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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