In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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