You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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