Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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