i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
