Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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