so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
