I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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