Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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