Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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