Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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