I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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