That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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