Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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