Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
