I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
