listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
