Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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