i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
