There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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