We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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