I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
