I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
