Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
