She's JV to your varsity
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
