It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
