I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
