I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
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