Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
