spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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