You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
