The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
