STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
