I think i peed on brittanys purse
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
