She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
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