i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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