1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
