I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
