I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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