today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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