i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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