yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
