there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
