DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
