After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
